The Green Siren: One is One Less

As I cleaned the women’s restroom at Starbucks the other day I made a mental note of all the things I’d gone through that day.  I broke a donut right off the bat this morning as I was putting the pastry case together, which I couldn’t sell and I just didn’t want to eat at 4:15 in the morning.  I don’t do well when I eat sugar in the mornings, and I’ve always known this.  I indulged in classic coffee cake with Emily the other morning and I’ve got to admit, it’s my favorite coffee cake now.  When it’s fresh, it’s moist and the crumble has a lovely gritty crunch with a hint of cinnamon.  But an hour or so after that, I started to feel sick to my stomach, and I felt my blood surging with a vengeance through my veins.  I started chugging water and hoped the rush wouldn’t last long.  I can’t remember if it did or not; we got our morning rush of customers and I forgot all about it.  So it all worked in the end.  So this morning, I refrained.  Had it been something more appetizing to me though, I have to admit, I might not have refrained.  Like the banana chocolate chip coffee cake?  Had I needed to mark that out, I might have changed my mind.  But then again, it’s got a little more substance than a glazed donut.  That makes a difference too. 

So, after the donut, I made myself three shots in a tall plastic cup when I first got to work this morning because I left without getting my grande size plastic cup out of the dishwasher.  I reused that cup for two beverages, each of which I drank half of.  I then made myself another drink in an iced grande cup when I left.  This hurts as I put it down.  I so give into the immediate temptations sometimes.  I have a thought for a drink, I make it on a break.  Or if we’re slow.  Really, I thought as a little kid I’d never work anywhere around food because I’d eat it all the time.  Then, of course, I wind up working at Starbucks, around not only food but sinfully delicious food, and coffee, one of my all-time favorite things.  I really should commit to simply drinking iced coffees when I’m on the clock.  If I want a latte, I can make it for after work.  And this all sounds doable now, but when it’s in the moment, and nothing sounds better than soy, hazelnut, and mocha mixed with rich espresso, I go for it.  Then after, I usually feel bad.  Maybe I don’t always feel bad, or angry at myself- though sometimes I can be, if I’m having a bad day, am stressed, or whatever- but I always think back on it and wonder, was that necessary?  Was it worth it to me what it took to get to me?  It didn’t hitch a ride on the back of a butterfly, that’s for sure.  I hope to tip the balance and say yes much more than I say no.

But along with those things, I dumped a venti mocha frappuccino down the drain.  I was hoping to assist Emily and get her frappuccino made for her.  I didn’t have any customers at the front and I heard her say into the headset ‘a venti mocha frappuccino?’ so I made a venti mocha frappuccino for her.  DTO’s run around like mad people in the morning.  They take orders in headset, put them in, make beverages, get pastries, get coffee, talk to customers, and make hot beverages if necessary.  It’s a crazy job.  Emily had this job while one of the girls went on break.  I was trying to help her out.  Luckily we were slow so my mistake didn’t put too big of a damper on her flow, but still.  I placed the mocha frappuccino on the counter by the drive window with pride, expecting her face to break out into a big silly grin as she calls me a big nicey.  Instead, she looks at cup, cocks her head to the side, then points to the CRF marking on the cup as she asks me, ‘Is that frappuccino caramel?’     

I suppose if I’m going to help, I better be sure to listen.  I had heard her correctly the first time; she had said mocha, but there’s a reason we repeat back orders two and three times.  Maybe you changed your mind mid-order.  Maybe I heard you wrong.  The list goes on and on.  We repeat it back to you, always.  Yep, I didn’t wait for that verification.  I went with the first thing I heard.  So, had to toss away that one. 

Yes, it’s only one.  But, it’s one.  Customers come for their one drink a day.  Many more come for their second and third drinks, but for those who come to enjoy their one drink a day, what if that one I’d tossed down the drain meant that one of my customers couldn’t enjoy their drink that day?  That one is made up somewhere along the way, isn’t it?  We make mistakes, and we always will.  But I recognize in myself my carelessness, and I’d like to improve.  I’d like to improve because as I get better, I tread a little less heavily on the Earth.  This is important to me now.  And when I fall short, or at least fall shorter than what I think I am capable of, I allow myself to feel disappointed in myself.  I’m not sure if that’s helping me as I make changes or not; I think the best thing I can do is reflect, because that keeps me aware.  And then, with practice I bring that awareness in every moment so that when one arises in which I must decide which way to go, yes or no, I’m clear enough to say no.  I’m strong enough to resist.  I know what soy mochas taste like.  I know what frappuccinos taste like.  Cold and creamy caramel and coffee sounds so good right now ’cause I’m sweating a bit after running back and forth on the floor for forty-five minutes straight, but is that one taste I’ll squeeze in between that rush and the one walking through the doors worth the one-time use of a cup?  Does that one cup even matter?

To someone somewhere else, it does.  To many someone’s it does, because this paper cup in the trash full of frappuccino I thought I’d get to could mean the loss of a home to a villager living in a forest suffering from deforestation.  For now, my hand releasing the incorrectly marked cup into the trash represents villagers who have lost homes, birds and reptiles who have lost homes in their trees and in the entire ecosystem around those trees, the loss of clean water and increased pollution.  I do have my research to do on this place, and I’ll be sure to comment on what I find but for now, I wonder.  I do, I wonder.   And this is how I wonder now, as a result of exploring far off places.  I’ve heard stories from cotton farmers in India who have lost relatives to suicide.  Cotton, oil, forests, all of these resources come from somewhere, which are places in themselves.  We can share this entire planet, but right now, we’re not.  Not when I can throw cup after cup away, and past date pastry after past date pastry away and others can starve, others can lose their ancestral lands when forests are cleared so we can use the trees.  I know it’s not all that simple, and it’s a lot to take in and keep close when I perform my barista duties on a busy Saturday morning, but I want to try.  And it’s not much, but if this caught on and my store got to the point where all of its baristas shared the passion I do for reducing waste here- and this is me not even doing as much as I’ve heard of many many baristas around the country doing- we could keep some serious weight out of the trash.  And we could keep those who are so distant from us we aren’t even aware of their existence a bit closer to us, because we just never know on whom and how it could have an impact in the world.  As for me, I’d rather have as many of mine be good as I can possibly manage.

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